maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
