But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And then he peed in my hair
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