i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
third nipple confirmed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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