I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
barbara walters just said penis...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
