I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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