Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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