i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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