if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I currently don't understand fingers.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
