I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
