I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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