Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
