I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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