remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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