idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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