theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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