and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
