absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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