This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
