I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
