Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
