..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
