I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize