Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize