I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
