we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
