So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
