I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
