Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

Fav 5 4188 904
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

Fav 5 3145 1079
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(443): View more from Maryland

you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

Fav 7 2000 3654
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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

Fav 7 4834 1019
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(847): View more from Illinois

On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

Fav 24 7688 1320
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(803): View more from South Carolina

No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..

Fav 23 6716 1460
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(785): View more from Kansas

There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.

Fav 10 3083 1256
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(515): View more from Iowa

You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

Fav 5 1563 613
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.

Fav 0 611 529
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