I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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