U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
