five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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