I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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