and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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