Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We don't watch enough power rangers
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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