everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
