Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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