I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
