oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
