whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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