if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
