I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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