ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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