I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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