Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
