Nicole vs. Life
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
