We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
bring money and cleavage
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
