He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
