My first STD was from a foam party
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
