I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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