Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
