that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
