What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
