Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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