You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
