my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
