I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You were trust falling into bushes
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
