Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize