3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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