Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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